My pending move to Ohio is on my mind now pretty much 24/7. The Realtors in Steubenville have set August 18 as my closing date, but the lending team here in Vermont that K. and I will do the refinancing with are dragging their feet. I’ve called them five times now to ask where we’re at, and every time, I had to remind them to do something that they should have done way earlier. That does not inspire much confidence in me. I really hope they won’t mess up my closing date. Funny, I thought the more laid-back Midwesterners would be the ones holding up the deal while the Northeastern go-getters would work their butts off, but it’s been the exact opposite.
And that’s not the only drama going on. Satan seems to have it out for me—he’s trying to sabotage me on all fronts. Total madness. In fact, it’s getting so bad that I’ve asked Father J. for special prayers on my behalf. On the upside, that just tells me that God really wants me to move to Steubenville, otherwise the evil one wouldn’t feel the need to throw all those obstacles in my way.
This morning appears to be no exception. I’m at Essex Automotive to have my broken car air conditioning system checked out. Summer in Ohio is a lot hotter than in Vermont, and I will need my AC. I got up at 5:15 AM to make it here by 7:00 AM because they don’t do appointments, only “first come, first serve.” I made it just in the nick of time to be taken in and served right away.
As I’m sitting in the lobby at Essex Automotive waiting for the mechanic’s verdict, I watch the news on CNN (or what passes for news these days). It’s hard not to be terrified when you see what’s going on in the world. I do believe we’re in the time of tribulation. The global elites, led by Klaus Schwab and the World Economic Forum (WEF), are hard at work to usher in their New World Order aka the Great Reset.
So-called fact checkers have declared the ominous line everyone’s talking about, “You will own nothing, and you will be happy,” to be a hoax made up by conspiracy theorists. Not so. Just last year, it was still to be found in a promotional video on the WEF’s own website. These days, it seems yesterday’s conspiracy theory is tomorrow’s news.
I constantly have to remind myself that the only fear we should have is the fear of the Lord. VatiGod*, I know you are in charge of everything, and nothing happens without you allowing it to happen. I have to hold on to that.
The mechanic comes out of the garage looking somber. He says it’s the AC compressor, a part that—with labor—will take $1,700 to fix. Gulp. At any other time, I’d say it’s not worth it for such an old car. But due to the global supply shortages in semiconductors, the inventory of new (and used) cars is alarmingly low. New economy-size cars cost around $30,000 now, which means almost any repair, no matter how expensive, is worth it. It’s also a huge amount of money for me. I tell the mechanic I’ll have to think about it for a minute.
I check the Catholic Company’s daily “Morning Offering” email for inspiration. Today’s meditation gives a clue:
“I believe that if those souls that tend towards sanctity were instructed as to the conduct they ought to follow, they would be spared a good deal of trouble. I speak as much of people in the world as of others. If they could realize the merit concealed in the actions of each moment of the day: I mean in each of the daily duties of their state in life … they would indeed be happy. If, besides, they understood that to attain the utmost height of perfection, the safest and surest way is to accept the crosses sent them by Providence at every moment, that the true philosopher’s stone is submission to the will of God which changes into divine gold all their occupations, troubles, and sufferings, what consolation would be theirs! What courage would they not derive from the thought that to acquire the friendship of God, and to arrive at eternal glory, they had but to do what they were doing, but to suffer what they were suffering, and that what they wasted and counted as nothing would suffice to enable them to arrive at eminent sanctity: far more so than extraordinary states and wonderful works.”
—Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, Abandonment to Divine Providence
Thank you for the encouragement, Jesus. I’m going to trust you completely. What’s another little leap of faith after all the leaps I’ve taken lately?
I put two-thirds of the charge for the new AC on my credit card. The rest will be due on Thursday when I come back to have it fixed.
About forty-five minutes later, on my way home, I take the Waterbury-Stowe exit off I-89. As I’m waiting at the traffic light, a panhandler comes up to my car asking for some change. I hesitate; I’ve already spent so much money today. But then the Holy Spirit whispers Leaps of faith in my mind, and I hand the guy a $20 bill. He looks stunned and happy. It feels to me like this was a divine test, and I’m glad I passed.
Just hours later, there’s another one: At the grocery store, I end up in line behind a Hispanic family on WIC who can’t pay for all their groceries. The harrowed-looking mom is in the process of putting items back to have them taken off her bill. Like before, I feel the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit. I stop the cashier and tell her I’ll pay for whatever excess cash is needed, which ends up being a total of $56. At this point, I’m almost enjoying myself. VatiGod, you provide for the birds in the sky and the lilies in the field, and I know you will provide for me. All I have to do is not cave to the fear of scarcity, of “not having enough.”
My reward from above comes without delay: An hour after my grocery trip, K. texts me to say that the holdup on the closing is finally removed and that we have a firm closing date for the Vermont property. One of my major anxiety factors has just evaporated. Praise be to God.
[*“Vati” means “Daddy” in German and is pronounced “Fuh-tee.”]
I am stunned/happy when someone tips me $20 while playing the piano at Trapps!