What do you do when you see people in church misbehaving?
My favorite priest in the world, Fr. Jon Schnobrich from the Holy Name of Jesus Parish in Morrisville, Vermont, just posted a short writeup on Mass etiquette in his church bulletin and allowed me to re-post it here. I also had a couple additional questions that I will tack onto the end.
Here it goes:
Dear Parishioners,
Over these past few weeks, we’ve all encountered some folks coming to Mass who either were not Catholic or perhaps had not been practicing for some time. First of all, thank goodness they were there to celebrate with us, as some of these folks may be family or friends of yours. Without making any presumption or judgment on what people know or don’t know, but because I’ve received some feedback on some inappropriate conduct or behavior and parishioners are not sure what to do in certain situations, the next few bulletin columns will offer some helpful tips regarding “Mass etiquette.”
Is it okay to chew gum in Church?
For several reasons, the answer is no.
First, it violates the one-hour fast we are asked to make before receiving communion.
Second, if we intend to receive communion, it is sacrilegious and disrespectful to the divine presence of Christ in the host to consume the Eucharist while chewing gum.
Finally, it’s just plain rude and inappropriate.
What if you see someone chewing gum at Mass? WITH CHARITY, mention to them that Father has asked us not to chew gum during Mass.
Is it okay to leave Mass early, like after receiving communion?
Technically, the Mass is not concluded until the priest or deacon give the dismissal, “The Mass is ended, go in peace.” However, our custom is to pray the St. Michael prayer as a community and then sing the recessional hymn together.
Sometimes people have an emergency—and obviously, that’s an exception. However, some folks rationalize that they don’t want to get stuck in the parking lot or have a more important place to be. Again, this is inappropriate and just plain rude.
Suppose you prepared a beautiful meal for someone, and after they finished eating, they just left. No thank-you. No gratitude. Just eat and run. This is a very dangerous habit to fall into regarding Mass because it puts ourselves above God and treats Mass with a consumerist mentality.
Either we believe that Mass is the most important aspect of our faith, or we don’t believe it. If we do believe that it is—then it demands respect and reverence. If we don’t—then why bother going? As I saw posted over the exit of a church I was visiting: “Leaving Mass early? One of the 12 did too!”
Have a blessed week!
With Mary, In Christ, Fr. Jon
Since we were on the topic, I asked him some more questions.
What about people who receive Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin, and the priest doesn’t know this, but I do? For example, what if I know that a fellow parishioner is in a relationship but isn’t married? Should I say something—to them, to the priest? Or should I just shut up and quietly pray for the person to do the right thing?
Fr. Jon’s advice:
“I would inform the priest.”
And what if I witness someone “palm” the Eucharist during Holy Communion instead of consuming it right then and there? Confront the person and force them to eat it in front of me (like one of the Catholic YouTubers once did, I forget whether it was Taylor Marshall or Fr. Donald Calloway)… which obviously would cause quite a scene? Say nothing and let them get away with it? Tell the priest?
Fr. Jon (who is so much holier than I because I’d be torn between going for the jugular and chickening out altogether) suggests this elegant solution:
“Approach the person with charity (presume ignorance before malice) and ask if they are Catholic? If not, then ask them to return the host to the priest, or if they’d like you to do that for them.”
And what if they say they are a Catholic?
His suggestion:
“It seems like you might be a little unfamiliar with receiving the Eucharist. Have you made your First Communion?”
And there you have it. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post some more of Fr. Jon’s pearls of wisdom on Mass etiquette here next week. Hang tight.