Please don't do it, and please get help immediately. I could be all squishy and loving right now, but let me give you a little bit of "tough love."
3 things I want to say:
1. Yes, first of all, you would cause your family and friends tremendous heartbreak. Your sister would probably never get over this. Considering this, it's actually a pretty selfish act to commit suicide.
2. There was a survey of people who'd jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge (apparently a favorite suicide spot) and survived. Every single one of them said that as they were jumping, they suddenly realized, "Oh crap, this is it." AND they also realized that there would have been a way out of their misery OTHER than killing themselves.
3. Your life is a precious gift from God. He made you for Himself, he made you for a reason, and your purpose in life is to know, to love, and to serve Him. He and only He gets to decide when you're done. You literally don't have the RIGHT to kill yourself.
I'm not gonna tell you that life is "so precious and wonderful" and all that. Sometimes, life is anything but wonderful. But part of our job as God's children is to suffer bravely and join our suffering to Jesus's, which contributes to the salvation of many souls and to your own sanctification. When God makes (or lets) us suffer, the ultimate goal is to purify our souls and get us ready for Heaven. You don't get to throw that away.
God bless you, and please call a Christian counselor to help you through this.
I've wondered the same about my own flaws. The incredible thing is that Jesus loves us with all our "schtink," as my spiritual director used to say. In fact, he WANTS us to hand it over to him. After one homily to this effect by the same spiritual director, I stayed in front of the tabernacle for a while after Mass and prayed about this. I had a vision of a huge, blackened burlap sack dripping with a tarry substance, as gross as you can imagine, that had all my wounds and pain and rage and depression in it. And then I saw Jesus standing next to me and picking up this horrible sack and carrying it off. Amazing, amazing experience. I recommend go to Mass and especially silent Adoration as often as you can. It really makes a difference.
Please don't do it, and please get help immediately. I could be all squishy and loving right now, but let me give you a little bit of "tough love."
3 things I want to say:
1. Yes, first of all, you would cause your family and friends tremendous heartbreak. Your sister would probably never get over this. Considering this, it's actually a pretty selfish act to commit suicide.
2. There was a survey of people who'd jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge (apparently a favorite suicide spot) and survived. Every single one of them said that as they were jumping, they suddenly realized, "Oh crap, this is it." AND they also realized that there would have been a way out of their misery OTHER than killing themselves.
3. Your life is a precious gift from God. He made you for Himself, he made you for a reason, and your purpose in life is to know, to love, and to serve Him. He and only He gets to decide when you're done. You literally don't have the RIGHT to kill yourself.
I'm not gonna tell you that life is "so precious and wonderful" and all that. Sometimes, life is anything but wonderful. But part of our job as God's children is to suffer bravely and join our suffering to Jesus's, which contributes to the salvation of many souls and to your own sanctification. When God makes (or lets) us suffer, the ultimate goal is to purify our souls and get us ready for Heaven. You don't get to throw that away.
God bless you, and please call a Christian counselor to help you through this.
I've wondered the same about my own flaws. The incredible thing is that Jesus loves us with all our "schtink," as my spiritual director used to say. In fact, he WANTS us to hand it over to him. After one homily to this effect by the same spiritual director, I stayed in front of the tabernacle for a while after Mass and prayed about this. I had a vision of a huge, blackened burlap sack dripping with a tarry substance, as gross as you can imagine, that had all my wounds and pain and rage and depression in it. And then I saw Jesus standing next to me and picking up this horrible sack and carrying it off. Amazing, amazing experience. I recommend go to Mass and especially silent Adoration as often as you can. It really makes a difference.